Goals For Couples Therapy: 6 Common Goals In Couples Counseling
From improving communication, to solving disagreements in a healthy way, these goals will help you nurture a deep and fulfilling connection with your partner. The goal of couples therapy isn’t to “fix” one partner—it’s to restore the emotional bond between you. Planning regular dates creates space for uninterrupted time with your partner. When you set aside time free from distractions like work, kids, text messages, and social media, you show your partner they’re a priority. A recent survey of married couples showed an overwhelming majority of partners having frequent dates report being “very happy” in their relationships compared to those who do not. Then, talk about goals that can help you both feel fulfilled.
No matter how ridiculous or insignificant you think your partner’s views are, never demean them. One of the biggest relationship rules is that you must always try to respect each other’s boundaries (4). You could have big goals in life and may want to achieve something and make your mark in the world. But your partner might believe in having a simple and comfortable life amid friends and family. Take some time to do the things that interest Koreadates you, even if they don’t interest your partner.
In fact, as Logan Ury, the Director of Relationship Science at Hinge, states, the number one thing people are looking for on a first date is emotional vulnerability. 6 In long-term relationships, this need will continue and evolve pretty much like the relationships themselves. For example, if you have no money and you aim to buy a new car in a month, this seems like something impossible. Similarly, if you’re focused on your career and have regular overtime, spending every evening together may be challenging. Talk to your loved one, identify the priority, and look for an approach that works for both of you.
However, it’s during the lows that the true strength of a relationship shines. When the road becomes rocky, and the weight of life’s burdens feels unbearable, having a steadfast partner is a lifeline. They lend a listening ear when you need to vent, providing solace and understanding. Their empathy becomes a safe haven, allowing you to be vulnerable without judgment. Much research has shown that when couples are happy, it benefits their overall well-being and may even increase the longevity of life. It’s in every couple’s interest to do what they can to improve their relationship.
But most importantly, you’ll also want to respect your partner’s own interests too. If they spend hours playing video games or going golfing with friend, use that time to do something you enjoy doing. While you can occasionally enjoy their hobby with them, don’t feel obligated to doing the exact same things they do. You’re still your own person, so develop your interests and do them.
My name is Sophia Rodriguez, and I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in California. In couples sessions, I often integrate Narrative Therapy, a modality that emphasizes the stories we tell about ourselves and our relationships. A trip could teach you how to face a challenge and work together as a team.
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, how often will you travel to see each other? Creating meaningful goals that are in line with your values and beliefs can inspire you to reach your desired destination. Your personal values will act as a guide to help you stay on track when facing difficult times. Being kind to each other is one of the most important goals in any relationship.
Small gestures can go a long way in showing how much they mean to you. This cycle reinforces the sense of being seen, understood, and valued, promoting an increased sense of contentment, fulfillment, and joy within the partnership. Being there for each other through thick and thin is extremely important in any relationship. Life is full of ups and downs, and it can make all the difference to have a partner who will support you through both. Emotional closeness, on the other hand, involves sharing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with your partner to foster vulnerability and trust. Engage in active listening, offering undivided attention as your partner shares their own experiences.
This step shows your commitment to the relationship and desire to invest in its growth and well-being. Don’t hesitate to schedule a consultation with a professional who can support you toward a healthier, happier relationship. However, if disagreements persist and resolution seems elusive, seeking outside help can be beneficial. Consulting with a trained therapist or counselor can provide valuable insights and offer a neutral perspective.
Is something secretly bugging you about your partner—or even the relationship—but you’re afraid to voice your concerns? “One of my recommended activities for couples is to each get a jar and put it in an obvious location. Then, see what’s in the jar and use it as a conversation starter with your partner. You can always toss the ones that no longer feel urgent, and start a conversation about the ones that do. When setting relationship goals, it’s crucial to be realistic.
- When the road becomes rocky, and the weight of life’s burdens feels unbearable, having a steadfast partner is a lifeline.
- These goals don’t just focus on fitness but can also include mental health and lifestyle habits that enhance your quality of life together.
- Therapy is a collaborative mental health intervention—and the best outcomes happen when individuals and couples work together to create something new.
- There is no such thing as a “perfect couple” who has never had their first fight.
Is progress something that even measures your relationship in the first place? Maybe you’re hoping to get engaged in a year and your partner wants to get engaged in three years. Make sure you’re on the same page by doing little check-ins throughout your relationship. While you might think lots of passion leads to creating a “relationship goals” relationship.
Don’t Tell People Your Problems
Partners that care for each other will continually work on improving each other’s behaviors over time. If things are not changing though, don’t be afraid to look into professional help to dive deeper into the problem. To those introverted couples reading this, try keeping an open mind. You may be surprised how much more joy a couple friendship could bring to your relationship. It gave them a greater understanding of men and women, and they got to observe how other couples discuss their differences.
3 Moreover, reaching shared goals is a perfect way to see tangible progress in your relationship and say “thank you” to each other one more time. It also helps to maintain boundaries, even with your romantic partner. While a shared goal helps you to stay committed as a married couple, you also need to stay committed to your individual selves as well.
For instance, plan routine moments together, create a budget together, and establish boundaries for personal space, alone time, and time with best friends. Understanding what a partner feels, wants, and aims to achieve might be key to building a long-lasting connection. Relationship goals can help you manage expectations and reduce misunderstanding. Encouraging each other’s personal growth is key to a fulfilling marriage.
Create Traditions That Are Meaningful To Both Of You
Talk extensively about what your relationship is lacking and take the steps to make it work. In this way, you will open a gate for a new flood of conversations and emotional release. Don’t allow yourself to think of the relationship as a mundane part of your life. It might seem uneasy at first but will prove vital for the relationship in the long run.
One of the most beneficial (and fun) relationship goals is to have a weekly date night. You could take it in turns to surprise each other or create a bucket list of dates you both want to go on and work your way through. You can stay in, go out, or even fly to a different country—it’s totally up to you.
When you enter a new relationship, it’s easy to become all-consumed by this new person. But if you let this continue indefinitely, it leads to one or both of you becoming codependent on each other. Setting boundaries is #6 on my 7 Little Love Steps because without setting clear, healthy boundaries, any relationship is destined to fail. Just make it one of your goals to learn how to navigate conflict better together in the future.
Boquin also recommends communicating and establishing clear boundaries around cheating and infidelity online. “Does talking to an ex via your DMs constitute as betrayal? Are you going to be upset if your partner likes someone’s pictures? Measurable goals give you a clear target to work towards and allow you to track progress along the way.
“Every now and then, plan a surprise date for your partner,” Wasser suggests. We live in a digital world, and every couple should set a goal to discuss social media together. “All partners should discuss boundaries—especially digital boundaries,” says Eliza Boquin, LMFT, a sex and relationships therapist and founder of Flow and Ease Healing Center.
